by Joe Siano
The Washington Times reports that the Pentagon
cannot find enough adults willing to kill and be killed. It is considering adding 16-year-old children
to serve in the armed forces.
For a kid of sixteen drawing a regular military paycheck
sure beats flipping burgers, mowing lawns or babysitting.
At sixteen you cannot:
- Vote
- Legally incur debt
- Consume alcoholic beverages
- Be prosecuted for a crime
- Make love with your 18-year boyfriend or girlfriend
Nonetheless,
good old Uncle Sam feels that you are plenty old enough to be blown to
smithereens .
One
reason for the military manpower shortfall might be the Trump
administration’s crackdown on
non-citizens and immigrants
swerving in our armed forces. This
can’t be another attempt at job-protectionism.
Evidently, soldiering is not a popular career choice for adult Americans want.
In
the Nineteenth Century, Otto
von Bismarck invented the welfare-warfare state. He doled out cradle to grave social services
to create a docile citizens who would make willing cannon fodder for Germany’s
martial ambitions.
This
German model was successfully imported to America during Progressive Era. For a solid century, it helped to people
America’s missionary wars of democracy.
With
this people pipeline drying up and immigrant warriors non grata, it’s
time for out of the box thinking. Thus, I
offer this suggestion to the Pentagon.
Americans
of Left, Right and Center persuasions will agree that we have an unwanted baby
problem. An unwanted pregnancy
problem. An unaffordable child
problem.
With
these lemons we make lemonade.
I
propose that the United States offer a substantial enlistment bonus to any mom
who will enroll her infant in any branch of the armed forces.
Her
heretofore resented and unloved progeny will live privileged lives of safe
housing, nutritious food, top notch education, physical conditioning and skills
training. Her child will thrive with the
discipline and self confidence that only a martial upbringing can instill.
Momma
gets a payday.
And
the Empire gets its Unsullied, its Clone Army.
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"Half
the people are stoned and the other half are waiting for the next election.
Half the people are drowned and the other half are swimming in the wrong direction."
- Paul Simon
Half the people are drowned and the other half are swimming in the wrong direction."
- Paul Simon
