The Children’s Crusade

by Joe Siano

Our  empire is in distress.

The Washington Times reports that the Pentagon cannot find enough adults willing to kill and be killed.  It is considering adding 16-year-old children to serve in the armed forces.

For a kid of sixteen drawing a regular military paycheck sure beats flipping burgers, mowing lawns or babysitting.

At sixteen you cannot:

• Vote
•  Legally incur debt
• Consume alcoholic beverages
•  Be prosecuted for a crime
•  Make love with your 18-year boyfriend or girlfriend

Nonetheless, good old Uncle Sam feels that you are plenty old enough to be blown to smithereens .

One reason for the military manpower shortfall might be the Trump administration’s crackdown on  non-citizens and immigrants swerving in our armed forces.   This can’t be another attempt at job-protectionism.  Evidently, soldiering is not a popular  career choice for adult Americans want.

In the Nineteenth Century, Otto von Bismarck invented the welfare-warfare state.  He doled out cradle to grave social services to create a docile citizens who would make willing cannon fodder for Germany’s martial ambitions.

This German model was successfully imported to America during Progressive Era.  For a solid century, it helped to people America’s missionary wars of democracy.

With this people pipeline drying up and immigrant warriors non grata, it’s time for out of the box thinking.  Thus, I offer this suggestion to the Pentagon.

Americans of Left, Right and Center persuasions will agree that we have an unwanted baby problem.  An unwanted pregnancy problem.  An unaffordable child problem. 

With these lemons we make lemonade.

I propose that the United States offer a substantial enlistment bonus to any mom who will enroll her infant in any branch of the armed forces. 

Her heretofore resented and unloved progeny will live privileged lives of safe housing, nutritious food, top notch education, physical conditioning and skills training.  Her child will thrive with the discipline and self confidence that only a martial upbringing can instill.

Momma gets a payday.

And the Empire gets its Unsullied, its Clone Army.

 

Related Posts:

School Daze – Philly Style
Fighting For Democracy?  For Real?

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"Half the people are stoned and the other half are waiting for the next election.
Half the people are drowned and the other half are swimming in the wrong direction." 
- Paul Simon